I have been asked and have asked people the question of “Do you trust your friends”, and the general answer I always get is “I trust my friends from high school”. I have given the same answer too; even though we might have drifted apart, we do not have the same social circle, our interests are not similar, or that our lives are so consumed with our work circle or our significant other that we rarely see or communicate with our friends from high school-- apparently, at the end of the day, they are the people we trust the most.
I asked people and myself why this phenomenon occurred, and the most common answer again would be that because we grew up together. I never realized that adolescent years obviously shape and imprint on others who we are in life…no matter who we turn out to be, who we have become in our adult lives-- when our friends from high school stand in front of us, all we see is the teenage version; the person we had lunches with in the cafeteria or hallways, the person we went and chill at the mall with and caught a movie with, or the person we giggled over for hours on the phone with or chatted non-stop all night on ICQ/MSN.
Isn’t it strange? It’s not that we do not trust people we meet along the way as we continue on with life, but somehow, we feel that we can trust our high school friends just because we grew up with them. Innately, we feel that no matter who those people from high school turn out to be, we can still trust them because we feel safe, they won’t harm us or hurt us because we grew up together. The conclusion I draw from this little mystery is that our past shape and influence who we turn out in the eyes of the people we grew up together with.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Perfection
I still remember the first day I got pretzel, it was actually my birthday a bit over a year ago. All excited, my friend drove me to the Vancouver International Airport to pick him up. Caroline and I just couldn’t resist and we opened Pretzel’s kennel and let him out, and in front of me stood a shivering little puppy, hunched over, so frightened he couldn’t stop shaking. I fell in love with that stinky little cuddle of joy, and on the drive home, when Pretzel went from shaking all over to slowly calming down and eventually snuggling up to sleep in my laps, I know I would love that little dog.
When he first got to his new home and I took him out for his new walks around the neighborhood, everyone walking by will gushed at how cute and small he was, and how adorable he looked in his little harness. I saw how Pretzel was scared of the curb to finally being able to do a little jump at 4 months to finally walking down the steps at the Metrotown library when he was 6 months marked so many little achievements and symbolizes his growing up.
No matter how adorable and cute he is, I am always bugged by his tearstains and would try and try to get rid of them; from washing his face aggressively to putting in tearstain drops, and until recently, having the vet pulled down his eye veins in hopes the tear ducts would not clog. However, nothing worked, he is still tearstained, though I am glad to say it is a lot lighter on its own accord than when he was a puppy; but what has changed is I started accepting his tearstains, and the stains make him what he is, I suppose. I learned that the “perfection” I am aiming for is without any imperfections, flaws, or blemishes, when in fact he is already perfect in every way. It was so silly to expect perfection in a canine when humans are but with imperfections. Everyone has some sort of flaw, scar, or a past, but it is actually that particular imperfection that make us perfect, unique, and who we are.
When he first got to his new home and I took him out for his new walks around the neighborhood, everyone walking by will gushed at how cute and small he was, and how adorable he looked in his little harness. I saw how Pretzel was scared of the curb to finally being able to do a little jump at 4 months to finally walking down the steps at the Metrotown library when he was 6 months marked so many little achievements and symbolizes his growing up.
No matter how adorable and cute he is, I am always bugged by his tearstains and would try and try to get rid of them; from washing his face aggressively to putting in tearstain drops, and until recently, having the vet pulled down his eye veins in hopes the tear ducts would not clog. However, nothing worked, he is still tearstained, though I am glad to say it is a lot lighter on its own accord than when he was a puppy; but what has changed is I started accepting his tearstains, and the stains make him what he is, I suppose. I learned that the “perfection” I am aiming for is without any imperfections, flaws, or blemishes, when in fact he is already perfect in every way. It was so silly to expect perfection in a canine when humans are but with imperfections. Everyone has some sort of flaw, scar, or a past, but it is actually that particular imperfection that make us perfect, unique, and who we are.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Eating in Hong Kong
The various kinds of food served in restaurants; from high class 5 star hotels to fast food café can all be so delicious and so imaginative. That is one of the things about HK that makes this such a “happening” city. I had such a blast enjoying a delicious “5 star” rating private French cuisine meal where the food and presentation of the dishes are superb. The goose liver was just fried to perfection, the stuffed chicken was so artistically cooked with the prawn, and the presentation of the desserts and humongous bright red strawberry dipped in chocolate sauce made the meal absolutely filling! Over glasses of red and white wine and super conversations with friends, it was an amazing meal.
Sauntering over to Shangri-la, I could enjoy a 5 star sumptuous buffet filled with sashimi, smoked salmon, and a huge array of dessert. The services, environment, and food are so delicious you would not be able to leave without a huge belly weighing you down. For an expensive glass of Margarita and a delicious hard-to-resist Tiramisu at the InterContinental Hotel, the entire Victoria Harbor is placed right in front of you. With live jazz and piano playing, there is nowhere better to spend an evening of conversation.
For $15, I could enjoy a tasty beef rice bowl from Yoshinoya, adding a couple extra dollars, I bought myself a chilling matcha red bean drink. Then for less than $50, I got myself a sizzling hot plate meal that include ½ a Brazilian chicken, baked potatoes, mushroom soup, and a banana split for dessert.
Eating in HK always wowed me and filled me with wonder. With an ever-changing menu and different restaurants with different themes and fusion of foods cooked, one could always expect to encounter a delicious eating experience around the corner!
Sauntering over to Shangri-la, I could enjoy a 5 star sumptuous buffet filled with sashimi, smoked salmon, and a huge array of dessert. The services, environment, and food are so delicious you would not be able to leave without a huge belly weighing you down. For an expensive glass of Margarita and a delicious hard-to-resist Tiramisu at the InterContinental Hotel, the entire Victoria Harbor is placed right in front of you. With live jazz and piano playing, there is nowhere better to spend an evening of conversation.
For $15, I could enjoy a tasty beef rice bowl from Yoshinoya, adding a couple extra dollars, I bought myself a chilling matcha red bean drink. Then for less than $50, I got myself a sizzling hot plate meal that include ½ a Brazilian chicken, baked potatoes, mushroom soup, and a banana split for dessert.
Eating in HK always wowed me and filled me with wonder. With an ever-changing menu and different restaurants with different themes and fusion of foods cooked, one could always expect to encounter a delicious eating experience around the corner!
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Religions
Today, I watched a sobem production of the destruction of the financial centre during 9/11, and how a Christian family has to cope with a deceased loved one, and unable to find the body in the destruction. I witnessed their difficulties to cope because they are unable to recover the body, so it’s difficult to put a period, or to have a “finality” feel about the ending of this life; yet the family is comforted by the thought that their loved one is waiting for them in heaven.
From this production, I started thinking about the various religions in the world, and remember an episode of the Chinese version of “deal or no deal” that recently aired. The player works in the funeral field, acting as one of those masters that perform Buddhist rites during the funeral service. When I watched him in the episode, I was so uncomfortable because he sends off signal of lies and untruths, it seems to me it’s a technique to pull in business, yet at the same time, he dug his own grave. Let me elaborate… He was to pick a box in the beginning that might very well contain the $3 million #1 prize, and he said his friend has done various “feng shui” math and decided number X is the right box for him. The host then said, “What if this is not the $3 million box, are you saying then your calculation is wrong”? He then replied, “This is not my calculation, it’s my friend’s, my business won’t be affected”. It turned out to be a box containing $100, so no, those feng shui calculations are not true. Then he started talking about his business, how different charges are offered to family based on how “wealthy” or “willing” the family will spend on the deceased. He pretty much implied that the more money you spend hiring a huge number of monks for the ritual, the more “goodness” your family will get, and I was just beyond flabbergasted at his ridiculousness. The burning of paper goods for the deceased, sigh, business venture manipulation. I remembered reading this book that said something along the line that the paper industry back in the days is so not profitable, the owner decided to fake his own death and have his wife burn him paper goods, then he popped out of the coffin insisting he has returned from the dead because people in hell are so impressed with all his riches they decided to let him live longer. Then he said when your loved ones die, if you burn him all these paper goods, it will be easier for them as they journey in the underworld. Now, I don’t know how credible my book is, but whenever I walk by those paper good stores selling incense and various paper computer, paper ipod, paper clothes, I just feel like they are insulting the Buddhist religion.
This brings me back to 9/11 and the terrorists…they are in fact ruining the Islam faith. I am not familiar with this religion, but when the terrorists are hiding behind this mask of devoted faith, it too, is in fact insulting the Islam religion. I am scared of terrorists, appalled by how little they value human lives; however, I also wonder why these terrorists are on a mission to destroy and demolish Western ideals. Before George Bush hurl armies into the Middle East and hide under the pretense of fighting against terrorism, he too, should question why terrorists are attacking the USA. If the USA is not an aggressor, trying to dominate everyone, trying to take oil from other countries and ignite dissatisfaction everywhere, perhaps the “terrorist” trend would not arise. Today, I learned that before we start blaming other people for the things that have happened, perhaps we should look back on our own actions, to reflect on what we have done.
I carry this burden with me, two people I just seem unable to forgive, no matter how many times I tell myself to let go. I try, when I cannot, I just bury it back inside and move on, to forget it for the time being. I understand that when you are able to let go, you become free, but it is so difficult, everytime I remember the pain and the anger, I just cannot say I have forgiven. Anger is such an evil, I remember someone saying that to truly forgive is a saintly act. Could I achieve this? "To think bad thoughts is the easiest thing in the world. If you leave your mind to itself it will spiral you down into ever-increasing unhappiness. To think good thoughts, however, requires effort". -James Clavell, Shogun
From this production, I started thinking about the various religions in the world, and remember an episode of the Chinese version of “deal or no deal” that recently aired. The player works in the funeral field, acting as one of those masters that perform Buddhist rites during the funeral service. When I watched him in the episode, I was so uncomfortable because he sends off signal of lies and untruths, it seems to me it’s a technique to pull in business, yet at the same time, he dug his own grave. Let me elaborate… He was to pick a box in the beginning that might very well contain the $3 million #1 prize, and he said his friend has done various “feng shui” math and decided number X is the right box for him. The host then said, “What if this is not the $3 million box, are you saying then your calculation is wrong”? He then replied, “This is not my calculation, it’s my friend’s, my business won’t be affected”. It turned out to be a box containing $100, so no, those feng shui calculations are not true. Then he started talking about his business, how different charges are offered to family based on how “wealthy” or “willing” the family will spend on the deceased. He pretty much implied that the more money you spend hiring a huge number of monks for the ritual, the more “goodness” your family will get, and I was just beyond flabbergasted at his ridiculousness. The burning of paper goods for the deceased, sigh, business venture manipulation. I remembered reading this book that said something along the line that the paper industry back in the days is so not profitable, the owner decided to fake his own death and have his wife burn him paper goods, then he popped out of the coffin insisting he has returned from the dead because people in hell are so impressed with all his riches they decided to let him live longer. Then he said when your loved ones die, if you burn him all these paper goods, it will be easier for them as they journey in the underworld. Now, I don’t know how credible my book is, but whenever I walk by those paper good stores selling incense and various paper computer, paper ipod, paper clothes, I just feel like they are insulting the Buddhist religion.
This brings me back to 9/11 and the terrorists…they are in fact ruining the Islam faith. I am not familiar with this religion, but when the terrorists are hiding behind this mask of devoted faith, it too, is in fact insulting the Islam religion. I am scared of terrorists, appalled by how little they value human lives; however, I also wonder why these terrorists are on a mission to destroy and demolish Western ideals. Before George Bush hurl armies into the Middle East and hide under the pretense of fighting against terrorism, he too, should question why terrorists are attacking the USA. If the USA is not an aggressor, trying to dominate everyone, trying to take oil from other countries and ignite dissatisfaction everywhere, perhaps the “terrorist” trend would not arise. Today, I learned that before we start blaming other people for the things that have happened, perhaps we should look back on our own actions, to reflect on what we have done.
I carry this burden with me, two people I just seem unable to forgive, no matter how many times I tell myself to let go. I try, when I cannot, I just bury it back inside and move on, to forget it for the time being. I understand that when you are able to let go, you become free, but it is so difficult, everytime I remember the pain and the anger, I just cannot say I have forgiven. Anger is such an evil, I remember someone saying that to truly forgive is a saintly act. Could I achieve this? "To think bad thoughts is the easiest thing in the world. If you leave your mind to itself it will spiral you down into ever-increasing unhappiness. To think good thoughts, however, requires effort". -James Clavell, Shogun
The Feeling of Contentment
On Friday and Saturday, I spent the days with my 2 cousins, my aunt, and my uncle; I felt so enveloped in the “family feeling” that I haven’t feel for quite sometime, and it was wonderful. Spending the hot afternoon walking around Yuen Long as my aunt and uncle tell me potential developments and the congested streets, I felt really cared for. When we all head over to Sorrento, I had such a wonderful day with them. Seeing my cousins played with Pretzel and listening to my auntie talking about shopping with my mom around Mongkok when they were young, I could see my mom all giddy and excited about buying new clothes in my mind. As we poured over pictures of when I was young and with my parents, those special sharing moments are just so precious. It felt and seemed so natural seeing my aunt pouring over my set of cooking books left behind by my mom, my uncle watching his sons playing with Pretzel, and we all think about of how we could bring the huge pot of food to my grandma’s place for the Mid-autumn festival. These natural feelings of togetherness, feeling totally at ease, definitely valuable. Taking Pretzel for his evening walk across the Waterfront Promenade was so fun as we all take turn holding Pretzel’s leash and giggled and screamed while he socialized with other dogs and snapping up pictures around the promenade under the setting of dawn.
When I returned to Yuen Long to clock customers at McCafe, I returned to my Aunt’s place afterwards, and I spend a bit of time playing Big 2 with my 2 cousins and my aunt. Something so simple could give me so much contentment. As we all sat around my cousins’ bed, shuffling the cards and strategizing, I was in a room filled with laughter and giggling, where little jokes and silly TV lines are spoken, and we all laughed and poured over straights and flushes.
I dedicate this piece of blog to my 2 cousins, aunt, and uncle; pure happiness and bliss, I found in the simplest gathering and bonding of people, doing the simplest, everyday thing, like taking an evening walk, or playing a hand of cards.
When I returned to Yuen Long to clock customers at McCafe, I returned to my Aunt’s place afterwards, and I spend a bit of time playing Big 2 with my 2 cousins and my aunt. Something so simple could give me so much contentment. As we all sat around my cousins’ bed, shuffling the cards and strategizing, I was in a room filled with laughter and giggling, where little jokes and silly TV lines are spoken, and we all laughed and poured over straights and flushes.
I dedicate this piece of blog to my 2 cousins, aunt, and uncle; pure happiness and bliss, I found in the simplest gathering and bonding of people, doing the simplest, everyday thing, like taking an evening walk, or playing a hand of cards.
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