Friday, April 25, 2008

Marley & Me...Pretzel & Me…

During Christmas, a good friend of me gave me a copy of “Marley & Me” by John Grogan, and it was a very good novel. Especially for dog owners, it’s so easy to relate and find laughter in the description of “Marley” the crazy lab. The most touching part of the novel to me was near the end when the author made the conclusion that dogs are very loyal to their owners and yet they spent over 80% of their time just waiting for their owners to return home.

Immediately I thought of Pretzel and he is indeed a very loyal dog and he indeed spends the majority of his time just sitting at home. Even though I should be giving him a daily walk to wind down his energy, I deprive him of these 30 minutes of happiness when I feel tired, when I don’t want to walk with him, or when I feel it is just too hot to go outside.

I remember the time when I first wanted to get a dog; it was around March & April of 2006. When I was young, I have never really like dogs and am even a bit scared of the big ones, yet I wanted one that year With my parents and my sister gone, I suddenly feel the house is just too empty, too quiet, and I want to feel some life in the house. The months before selling the house, Anna and I lived in a place that is over 3500 square feet, we each took a floor of the house and it has started suffocating me. That January and February was so hard to pass by emotionally and psychologically. Clearly going to bed isn’t always easy, you cannot stop the images and thoughts that circulate around your head; and one day, I decided I wanted to get a dog—the stuffed hippo with beans just doesn’t cut it anymore, I wanted something breathing beside me, I wanted something I can take care of, something that moves and has a heartbeat beside me when I sleep. A puppy is a good solution and suddenly I really like dogs.

Reflecting of Pretzel’s childhood till the day he moved to HK, I cannot exactly say he has a good puppy hood (from sleeping in an enclosed tent to a banana box on top of a stool to being inside a car in a parking lot for the majority of the day), though I fell in love with him from the first day I took him home from the airport. I brought Pretzel home on my birthday, though I didn’t plan it that way, funny how things happened. I love taking him for walks when he was a mere puppy in a little harness, I feel so proud seeing him trotting along beside me like a little stuffed animal. When other dog owners or people out for a stroll see him, they always stop and coo and say how adorable my puppy is and I just feel so proud, so I would take him out for a lot of walks a day, lol. Pretzel has kept me busy and preoccupied and we slowly adapted to each other’s style of living, though I must say I have no separation anxiety and I am not an attention dominator!
I guess reading “Marley & Me” makes me remember once again how precious and special Pretzel is to me and how he has really been there during my low times. Though I cannot quite say he was there to fix my problems and help me continue on with life, I must say he has brought colors and laughter into my life and I am so attached to that little ball of hair. Reading the novel reminds me Pretzel cannot stay a young dog forever! In the blink of an eye, he probably cannot trot around lawns, chase other dogs and just run around freely within feeling the pains of old age. So while he is still willing and energetic, I should give him more attention and bring him out to continue on his free spirit, because it is his energy and joy that makes me feels the happiness and delight of continuing on. He is a little colorful rainbow after a heavy rainstorm.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

An act of kindness

It’s true that you never stop learning everyday, especially from your friends. I learned from my friends what genuine kindness is, and how mere small gestures can really change a day. I remember once walking to the MTR station from the Vine with 2 friends, and it was late and I just wanted to get home. On the pedestrian bridge, there was a woman from the Mainland that was struggling with 2 huge suitcases asking for directions to the airport bus. She looked frantic, lost, and just tired from pulling the 2 suitcases along, and my friend didn’t hesitate before taking one suitcase from her and pulling it for the wandering woman. Even though she doesn’t know where the bus is herself, she willingly jumped in, took the suitcase and directed the lost woman and the 2 friends who merely followed to the main street and asked for directions to the bus stop. The thank-you and appreciation she received from the woman truly came from her heart.

Today, a couple of friends and I decided to go hiking at Sai Kung; after completing the trail, we were all walking along the main road heading to the bus stop; in the middle of the road, there were a couple of construction workers mending a strip of the road and as we were passing by, they all stopped working and were just looking at us. I was walking ahead of everyone, and I felt quite awkward and uncomfortable since it’s so obviously we were being stared at so openly; suddenly, I heard a cheerily and hearty HELLO bellowed out to the workers behind me and immediately I saw the workers’ faces all lit up and suddenly they were waving and saying hello to us too! Quite honestly, this blew me away, especially since living in such a busy city where the human to human interaction is so limited, I was really shocked at the warm hellos trailing after us! Today I learned that all it took is a small wave, a smile of acknowledgement, or a hearty hello that could immediately warm people up; rather than passing by and pretending we don’t see each other, by making a quick connection brings such warmth, and I just love it!

I am never a huge fan of kids, especially spoiled and bratty children that scream and run around blocking your path, but helping out with the African drum class at the down syndrome society gave me so much rewards. These children face physical handicap, but they are so willing to express and share their happiness with you, it’s just absolutely amazing. Today was the last lesson, and at the end of class, when one of the most handicapped boys walked by with his mom and dad, he came over and just gave me the biggest hug! I thought my face will crack from my huge smile, and he has just brightened up my day so much!

Today, I’ve learned to be more kind and I am up for the human connection! I learned that we’re all just people, we shouldn’t mask our feelings and we should greet one another, this world will be such a better place if all of us just smile and say hello to one another. It’s true what they say; all it takes is a smile to brighten up someone’s day.

There is something you may give a friend and stranger too;
It seems that when you give it, it’s given back to you.
This gift is worth a million, but doesn’t cost a dime; it’s lasting in effect,
But doesn’t take much time.
This simple little gesture can make the day worthwhile;
It’s just as good as sunshine—
That is what we call a smile
~jill wolf~

Sunday, January 13, 2008

My Vancouver Trip

A couple of days prior to returning to Vancouver to visit my sister and friends, I wasn’t too hyped, to be honest; clearly I wasn’t expecting it to be crappy and not fun, but I thought I would be bored now and then, and was considering rescheduling my return flight ticket to Hong Kong earlier. I truly believe I was subconsciously missing Pretzel, as I am gone for more than 2 weeks! However, I am glad I stayed for my entire planned trip, because I really did have fun. I always thought going on vacations mean going to places that are foreign, and when you return to the familiar, it would be so boring, because you just wouldn’t visit the tourist spots. Well, I am glad to say that stereotype has been slashed in my brain, because even though I really did not go to any tourist spots, aside from Granville Island, I still had such a great blast in Vancouver, because it is my chance to visit all the little treats and stuff I enjoyed while living there.

Slurping up on the matcha chillos, dunking myself in pretzel balls, sucking up the Dairy Queen blizzards, grabbing a mango slush BBT on the go, OMG, multiple adrenaline rushes coursing through me everyday! I was even happy to be in a huge line at Chapters for a cup of starbucks! Going to nice dinners at the keg, eating italiano and Greek food, yum yum. All my trips evolve around foods, lol.

I truly believe my trip wouldn’t be as fun without my sister and my friends, they really make it that much better. It felt good to return, do the shopping, and just catching up. Can I say everyone is totally different? Well, I was only gone for a year, but I do observe minor changes here and there; everyone seems quite settled in their work, relatively happy/satisfied with what they’re accomplishing, people are considering changes or advances in their career, so very true signs that we are all indeed growing up and time isn’t stopped or pausing for any of us!

Finally, it was very nice seeing my sister, it is really weird how when we don’t live in the same country, we talk a lot on the phone, then when we are in the same room, it’s different! We still talk obviosuly, but she seems awfully defensive about her territory. I am always feeling cold in her apartment and she keeps turning the heat down! I do believe in the Chinese saying about how it’s easy to meet up but hard to live together, so very true! Well, I am excited to see her when she visits HK, I am really praying she could see herself in HK and choose to move there, that would be so awesome! We would be living in the same country again!

As I don’t foresee myself returning to Vancouver for probably around 2 years, when my sister indeed decides to move to HK, and I come back and assist her with the packing, and more legal paperwork, omg, those damn things are endless! So hopefully I will still see my friends when they visit Asia in the next 2 years!

Friday, December 14, 2007

News Commentary: My 5 cents

3 pieces of news I heard in the past week that got a bit of emotion and opinion out of me in descending order…

News #3: shootings in the United States
Random shootings in churches and malls across the US in addition to what we’re now familiar with-- schools, really make me wonder why the people in the US act in such fashion! The cynical me that really hate US’ aggressive foreign policies immediately commented on the fact that the US government should invest money into their own education system rather than spending so much money invading other countries because seriously, it seems like their own citizens will end up killing each other before George Bush can put the American flag on oil rich countries’ soil. Why can Americans own guns? That might contribute to their random killings!

News #2: The commemoration of the Nanking Massacre
Today is the anniversary of Nanking Massacre that happened a long time ago, and whenever I see the pictures portrayed in the media; people being buried alive and women brutally raped and killed, it would stir up emotion of pain and horror within me. I have nothing against Japanese citizens, what angers me is the Japanese government’s denial the invasion of Nanking happened! I believe that for my grandparents’ generation, they will hold a lot of anger and hatred for Japanese because a lot of them have suffered under their brutality; for my generation, speaking for myself, I would say, I have nothing against Japanese people as a race, but am definitely angered by the Japanese government’s ignorance of this event. Do they think 300,000 people will choose to be tied up and used as gun shooting targets, or like to lie down in the dirt and be willingly buried alive, or that the women choose to willingly be raped and humiliated? From the whole Nanking Massacre, what angers me is that back then, it doesn’t even seem like Japan wanted to invade Nanking and colonized it; rather, they are trying to terminate a race or perish Nanking of Chinese people, because or else, why would they randomly shoot women and children in wild abundance? All the 300,000 people killed in Nanking were civilians that weren’t armed!

News #1: Outrageous alternative healing options to cancer
We feel the most helpless when we are told we have some form of terminal illnesses, and at the current trend is for people to seek alternative form of medicine practices. Recently on TV, a form of alternative healing has gain light in the media, the creator claims that by using a little hammer and whacking a doll that has listed a person’s veins and body parts, that would help in reducing your tumor or other form on illnesses residing in that specific part! This is just beyond outrageous to me, and the creator (from the US) or the president of the HK chapter has the nerve to go on TV advertising their effectiveness! The creator even goes so far as to use an infrared flashlight and shine it to the doll claming that is the same as undergoing radiation for the actual person! Apparently, his newest form of “helping” is towards people with diabetes. He claims that when he knocks on the doll, after 20 minutes, the person’s sugar level will go down, oh, and by the way, he ONLY charges $50USD per call. I understand that when people become desperate or that conventional form of medicine cannot help them, there is a tendency to reach out and buy any kind of hope that is offered, but for the people claming their method work or telling people to just follow his instructions rather than undergoing an operation just anger me beyond comprehension. Rather than giving someone hope, you are very well making a hopeful situation hopeless! I highly doubt that if the creator of that stupid plastic doll will just knock on that dumb doll rather than undergoing an operation if he finds out he has cancer!

Friday, October 12, 2007

Segmenting Life

I have recently read an article that divides a person’s life span into 4 sections that I found to be interesting. To summarize the author’s piece of writing, he said that before we reach 20, we live in the shadow of other’s expectations, such as from our family or from our teachers. This is a confusing period in our lives where we are not yet developed, lacking in knowledge, experience, and maturity. When we reach 20, we start to shed the expectations of other people and begin to aspire to our dreams and goals. We start to envision and chase after possibilities we see for ourselves. Then, when we reach 40, we realize the “better” part of our youth is gone, and we would begin to see many of our dreams in the 20s and 30s that are not yet realized. At this segment of our lives, we would live with feelings of regret, remorse, pity, and “if only”. By the time we reach 60, we would become aware that our prime is in the past and what lies ahead is limited time in this life. At this point, we would tell ourselves to stop thinking of our past regrets or things that haven’t been accomplished, and we would value and treasure the time we have on earth. At the end of life’s ladder, we will reminisce and remember the dreams and aspirations that are not yet fulfilled, and realize that all our dreams and visions are still at when we were 20, we have not yet advanced past that segment.

I started digesting and pondering at this piece of writing, and if the life span of 20-40 is indeed the focal point of my life, what are the dreams and aspirations I wanted achieve. What do I want out of life? Quick brainstorm of what I want:
· Business venture
· Husband
· Own an apartment

Having realized the 3 things that popped out of my head so quickly, I decided to figure out why I don’t have them.

Business venture (I can buy one anytime I want, but to do that without thinking of the potential costs, risks, capabilities, etc is just throwing money into the ocean. I believe due diligence is important in acquiring a business venture; when the right venture knocks, I know I’ll be ready. Therefore, I believe what is stopping me is the fear of failure, I want to hit the jackpot on the first run)

Husband (well, I believe due diligence apply to this case as well…being quite independent and going through so much changes in my family, the biggest obstacle I see for myself is learning to go from being independent to interdependent. Atypical of females in HK, I do not need a mega rich husband to marry and become a tai-tai, because that is a waste of my business degree. I don’t even need my husband to be richer than me; what I need is a partner that I can trust, I can depend on, and I can share with. In summation, I believe the obstacle lies within me, not the men in HK. I need to learn to share, to open up, and to let people in. I actually don’t think I need to rush, I am learning; and besides, my grandma told me this prophet said I marry late anyway)

Own an apartment (I can buy one anytime as well, so I believe what is stopping me is the crazy prices in HK and the over-zealous stock market that continue to drive prices up. If I go out and buy a place now and suddenly America enters into recession and global markets plummet, I would be whacking myself up and down for not being patient and wait. Internally I know the market is bubbling and would pop soon, but sometimes, I just want to own my place RIGHT NOW, and that TYPE A behavior would make me lose money, and I don’t want that. On the other hand, I am very aware of the opportunity cost of not buying a flat, such as the high rent I am spitting out to my landlord, which could bundle up into a nice little down payment. Once again, why would I buy now knowing there is a better entry price, so patience and due diligence again applied in this case.)

In summation, DUE DILIGENCE seems like an important vocabulary to remember that could lead to success and also is an obstacle to my “things to achieve” between 20-40 to avoid feeling a sense of regret at 40 and not living the dreams of my 20s when I am 60. Note very carefully that I did not include other important elements such as health and happiness to my list of things because I believe these 2 elixirs of life are not things I want only in my 20-40 age period. These 2 factors are when keep me alive and are the very driving forces of life. Happiness and health are blessed upon me that money could not buy. They are not dreams, they are the essential forces that keep me living.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Life’s little mysteries

I have been asked and have asked people the question of “Do you trust your friends”, and the general answer I always get is “I trust my friends from high school”. I have given the same answer too; even though we might have drifted apart, we do not have the same social circle, our interests are not similar, or that our lives are so consumed with our work circle or our significant other that we rarely see or communicate with our friends from high school-- apparently, at the end of the day, they are the people we trust the most.

I asked people and myself why this phenomenon occurred, and the most common answer again would be that because we grew up together. I never realized that adolescent years obviously shape and imprint on others who we are in life…no matter who we turn out to be, who we have become in our adult lives-- when our friends from high school stand in front of us, all we see is the teenage version; the person we had lunches with in the cafeteria or hallways, the person we went and chill at the mall with and caught a movie with, or the person we giggled over for hours on the phone with or chatted non-stop all night on ICQ/MSN.

Isn’t it strange? It’s not that we do not trust people we meet along the way as we continue on with life, but somehow, we feel that we can trust our high school friends just because we grew up with them. Innately, we feel that no matter who those people from high school turn out to be, we can still trust them because we feel safe, they won’t harm us or hurt us because we grew up together. The conclusion I draw from this little mystery is that our past shape and influence who we turn out in the eyes of the people we grew up together with.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Perfection

I still remember the first day I got pretzel, it was actually my birthday a bit over a year ago. All excited, my friend drove me to the Vancouver International Airport to pick him up. Caroline and I just couldn’t resist and we opened Pretzel’s kennel and let him out, and in front of me stood a shivering little puppy, hunched over, so frightened he couldn’t stop shaking. I fell in love with that stinky little cuddle of joy, and on the drive home, when Pretzel went from shaking all over to slowly calming down and eventually snuggling up to sleep in my laps, I know I would love that little dog.

When he first got to his new home and I took him out for his new walks around the neighborhood, everyone walking by will gushed at how cute and small he was, and how adorable he looked in his little harness. I saw how Pretzel was scared of the curb to finally being able to do a little jump at 4 months to finally walking down the steps at the Metrotown library when he was 6 months marked so many little achievements and symbolizes his growing up.

No matter how adorable and cute he is, I am always bugged by his tearstains and would try and try to get rid of them; from washing his face aggressively to putting in tearstain drops, and until recently, having the vet pulled down his eye veins in hopes the tear ducts would not clog. However, nothing worked, he is still tearstained, though I am glad to say it is a lot lighter on its own accord than when he was a puppy; but what has changed is I started accepting his tearstains, and the stains make him what he is, I suppose. I learned that the “perfection” I am aiming for is without any imperfections, flaws, or blemishes, when in fact he is already perfect in every way. It was so silly to expect perfection in a canine when humans are but with imperfections. Everyone has some sort of flaw, scar, or a past, but it is actually that particular imperfection that make us perfect, unique, and who we are.