Segmenting Life

I have recently read an article that divides a person’s life span into 4 sections that I found to be interesting. To summarize the author’s piece of writing, he said that before we reach 20, we live in the shadow of other’s expectations, such as from our family or from our teachers. This is a confusing period in our lives where we are not yet developed, lacking in knowledge, experience, and maturity. When we reach 20, we start to shed the expectations of other people and begin to aspire to our dreams and goals. We start to envision and chase after possibilities we see for ourselves. Then, when we reach 40, we realize the “better” part of our youth is gone, and we would begin to see many of our dreams in the 20s and 30s that are not yet realized. At this segment of our lives, we would live with feelings of regret, remorse, pity, and “if only”. By the time we reach 60, we would become aware that our prime is in the past and what lies ahead is limited time in this life. At this point, we would tell ourselves to stop thinking of our past regrets or things that haven’t been accomplished, and we would value and treasure the time we have on earth. At the end of life’s ladder, we will reminisce and remember the dreams and aspirations that are not yet fulfilled, and realize that all our dreams and visions are still at when we were 20, we have not yet advanced past that segment.

I started digesting and pondering at this piece of writing, and if the life span of 20-40 is indeed the focal point of my life, what are the dreams and aspirations I wanted achieve. What do I want out of life? Quick brainstorm of what I want:
· Business venture
· Husband
· Own an apartment

Having realized the 3 things that popped out of my head so quickly, I decided to figure out why I don’t have them.

Business venture (I can buy one anytime I want, but to do that without thinking of the potential costs, risks, capabilities, etc is just throwing money into the ocean. I believe due diligence is important in acquiring a business venture; when the right venture knocks, I know I’ll be ready. Therefore, I believe what is stopping me is the fear of failure, I want to hit the jackpot on the first run)

Husband (well, I believe due diligence apply to this case as well…being quite independent and going through so much changes in my family, the biggest obstacle I see for myself is learning to go from being independent to interdependent. Atypical of females in HK, I do not need a mega rich husband to marry and become a tai-tai, because that is a waste of my business degree. I don’t even need my husband to be richer than me; what I need is a partner that I can trust, I can depend on, and I can share with. In summation, I believe the obstacle lies within me, not the men in HK. I need to learn to share, to open up, and to let people in. I actually don’t think I need to rush, I am learning; and besides, my grandma told me this prophet said I marry late anyway)

Own an apartment (I can buy one anytime as well, so I believe what is stopping me is the crazy prices in HK and the over-zealous stock market that continue to drive prices up. If I go out and buy a place now and suddenly America enters into recession and global markets plummet, I would be whacking myself up and down for not being patient and wait. Internally I know the market is bubbling and would pop soon, but sometimes, I just want to own my place RIGHT NOW, and that TYPE A behavior would make me lose money, and I don’t want that. On the other hand, I am very aware of the opportunity cost of not buying a flat, such as the high rent I am spitting out to my landlord, which could bundle up into a nice little down payment. Once again, why would I buy now knowing there is a better entry price, so patience and due diligence again applied in this case.)

In summation, DUE DILIGENCE seems like an important vocabulary to remember that could lead to success and also is an obstacle to my “things to achieve” between 20-40 to avoid feeling a sense of regret at 40 and not living the dreams of my 20s when I am 60. Note very carefully that I did not include other important elements such as health and happiness to my list of things because I believe these 2 elixirs of life are not things I want only in my 20-40 age period. These 2 factors are when keep me alive and are the very driving forces of life. Happiness and health are blessed upon me that money could not buy. They are not dreams, they are the essential forces that keep me living.